Monday, 30 May 2011

Hedge of Protection

So today I was working while Ang spent the day with Bronson. He is doing so much better... we keep forgetting that he is still in the NICU. Today while I was working my brother had Joel Osteen playing on podcast. he was speaking about God's hedge of protection upon our lives.

He spoke of Yellowstone National Park. A few years back there was a fire that ripped through the park. As workers made their way through the destruction, one stumbled upon a bird. What caught his eye was how the small bird was laying... It's wings spread out, as if to pose for a picture. The worker assumed the bird ended up in a petrified state with fire and ash all around it.

Still interested, the worker simply poked the bird and to his surprise three baby chicks came out from underneath. The bird could have flown away... she would have saved herself but instead choose to spread her wings over her babies, surrendering her own life in the process.

That's how Ang and I feel. That through everything God has us under His protection.
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
      He will shelter you with his wings.
      His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

         - Psalm 91.4
Through our pain... we are still blessed... 
Bronson is growing stronger every day... I know God has good things in store. 

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Mixed Emotions.

It's hard to know how to feel with the position we are in... one side of the coin our home feels somewhat empty at night... there is a room 10 feet from us that is far too quiet and vacant. There is a baby boy who has yet to see the outside of a hospital (except for his helicopter ride above the city). There's a pain that surfaces at the most inconvenient times... but there's another side....
A side that has seen a love and compassion from so many people around the world - total strangers who, under the family of God have come together to lift our little boy up for healing.
I don't know why this happens... I don't know why we are going through this or why so many people in the world have felt the sting of losing their child - no parent should have to do that.

Yesterday was Angela's birthday... A birthday that was spent with her little boy. Her parents surprised her by showing up and having cake and presents waiting for her in the waiting room.... and as she walked out and as her parents began to sing 'Happy B-day', she couldn't help but overhear a mother on the phone saying 'You better come down to say goodbye'. A mother that could hardly contain the emotion that was taking over. Ten minutes later she heard someone run into the hall and break down sobbing.

I don't know if I can handle that. My prayer from the beginning has been in the hope of the testimony that Bronson would have to live out his days restored and healed. I refuse to believe anything less for him. I refuse to let the urgency of the situation overshadow the faith I have in a healing God... a loving God - but I am not calling the shots.

Tonight I am reminded of Job. A man who had everything - lost it all - and still honoured and loved the Lord his God. There are things that have happened throughout our journey already that has shown me how God is using our situation to reach people around the world... things that I plan to write about once this is all over... like how complete strangers heard about our journey, and along with church family, had a few lemonade stands that said "All Proceeds Go To Bronson Anthony - A baby at SickKids - an act of kindness that we were incredibly blessed through... Where a little boy gave his allowance to 'help Bronson'.

These are the moments that take our breath away... moments that show us there is more than just this earthly existence - we are living in a moment like that. A moment that during the good times and the bad, I will bless the name of the Lord.
Sometimes you feel like you're holding the short end of the stick... and you may have questions - but bring your questions to the One that made all that we know. Life has thrown us a curve ball... but I still choose to say that we are blessed.
Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important. - CS Lewis. 

May 26th... How Time Flies

May 26th : 954pm

Wow.. so Bronson is 17 days old today....hard to believe. 3 weeks ago we never thought we would be in this place. Never thought we'd be getting up each day trying to figure out who will watch Kallie for the day while we head down to SickKids-but here we are... life is not always fair but we know that God still has His ways of showing himself true to us. 
Sometimes it simply feels like we can't get a break. He's going through his treatments and we are preparing ourselves to start to hear some good news... and BAM... Bronson gets sepsis and E Coli. It just feels like it's constantly one thing after another. 

I don't know if I will ever understand in this life-time why a baby so young can go through something like this... or if this is something God will walk me and Bronson through once we are in Heaven... but I do know that there is a plan and a purpose through this...
I have been reading Psalm 91 as much as I can... I've felt that it is a Scripture that has been placed on my life... and now I believe it rests on our little boy. 
9 If you make the Lord your refuge,
      if you make the Most High your shelter,
 10 no evil will conquer you;
      no plague will come near your home.
 11 For he will order his angels
      to protect you wherever you go.
So Bronson now shows signs of sepsis and E Coli... so the doctors are nervous (as are we) because his immune system is weak at best and may make it hard to fight this off... but lets not forget that we serve a God who is far bigger than our problems... 
We have a funny way of making our problems seem too big...even for God... 
- we have a funny way of forgetting that God breathed the stars into existance... 
So Bronson is sick... and now has a bug... yes we are scared... yes we feel exhausted emotionally and just don't know what to expect... 
- so with that said... I'm done. Ang and I can't do it anymore... but we never could... there is no way we could have ever gotten through this on our own. There is a lot stacked against our little guy... but remember... God cheers for the underdog... GOD... is about to shine... you may read this and think the game is over... but here comes the touchdown. No plague is taking my family... and that's my God given promise. 

May 24th

May 24: 9:57pm
Home now watching the Canucks/Sharks game... Got home about an hour's been a long day. 
So today they started him on radiation. I really wasn't sure what to think because they were so worried about moving him over to PMH for the procedure - but everything has gone fine... they have such an incredible team at SickKids. We travelled from the NICU, over to this old part of SickKids (that looked like it belonged in a horror I was going to see the guy from '28 Days Later' wake up out of his coma and start running from zombies...)  - down underground to this passage that went across the street and up to the radiation department. 

We are truly blessed to live in such a country with access to such amazing health care. 
My fears and concerns were quickly put to rest once he was in the room... he is still on a ventilator, but not as extreme as the original one he was on. So he is breathing better and is beginning to get rid of more fluids... so day by day he seems to be doing better. 
It makes me wonder at times if there is such thing as a 'normal' life. Some couldn't imagine going through what we are going through, but maybe we're simply getting it all out of the way now and are going to enjoy the rest of our life... ;)

Besides the great hands he is in at S.K's, it has only been by the grace of God that we are making it through this with our nerves still intact. The hardest thing is to see him in the position he is in...and physically, not be able to do anything for him - but God is in control... and knowing that is what keeps us going. 
People go day-to-day never really thinking about the role God plays in their life - and when their world turns upside down they wonder where He went... I know in a broken world bad things happen that breaks the heart of God... but I know that He is moved by the incredible movement of prayer that is being lifted to Heaven for this little guy... and in that I know we will make it through this. 
We just called for an update and he is resting well... so with that I know I will rest well... and those of you who are starting your day on the other side of the world... please start with a prayer for us while we rest. 
Good night world. 

May 22nd... What Holds Your Awe?

May 22 - 9:32pm

Today felt like our first real progress... it wasn't even that we were given news that was entirely different from what we had heard - but that it was the first time we really felt that the doctors saw promise in the situation - that they felt this was a battle we were going to win. - Hope. 

Hope is an incredible thing. With it, we have the ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel... with it we have the strength to move forward... even when the odds can be stacked against us... hope tells us that things are going to work out just fine. 

Hope is what we have felt from day 1 because of the prayers from around the world... Though many of us are thousands of miles from each other... we've been united by a common cause... - to see God's promises restore this little body. 

Cancer has the ability to steal peoples' awe. It has the ability to make people feel defeat when they hear the words and say "I am so sorry for your situation". It has the ability to make us forget that the star-breathing God, became the cross-bearing Saviour, and is now the hope-giving Friend. 

Our hope from the beginning is that God would restore our son... and we are beginning to see proof of that... We may still have bad days, but our hope is in a Christ that defeated the grave... a man who claimed to be thee Christ, and proved so by coming back to life 3 days after a horrible death. 

So that's where my hope continues to stand. We have hope because Bronson is in the best hands in Canada... if not better. We have hope because so many around the world have felt it in their heart to pray for our little guy... We have hope because even when it can seem like it's over... it's not. 

May 21st

May 21st - 11pm

Today we spent some well needed time with Kallie... took her to the park... had a bbq, watched a movie. Just one day to feel like things are normal again... but unfortunately they are far from it. It's not easy to come home and see an empty room where your little boy should be resting peacefully. Instead you're reminded of the fact that he is fighting hard at SickKids. 
I'll be 28 years old this fall. I remember when I was 21 I just didn't have the best year... as I blew out the candles on my cake and thought..."so long 21... you will not be missed..." 23 came along and I ended up at Princess Margaret... "so long 23... you will not be missed"... (except for my wedding... good times had by all :)  ). 
10 years ago, Ang and I hardly knew each other. We worked at the same camp but didn't really talk. And as we walked the paths down at the camp today I couldn't help but picture the younger versions of ourselves... If we only knew what life had in store for us... 

I'm tired of surprises... We just want our boy to be safe and sound in our home... I hope you continue to come along side of us and pray. Pray specifically that his markers will decrease... that his platetes will strengthen... that his body would be restored to full health - that he can sleep in his own bed. 

Good night. 

May 19th - Faith in the Unseen

May 19th - 10:15pm - my thoughts for the night
Hebrews 11.1
 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

 There are times we simply don't understand what this life throws at us... There are times we question the existance of God... times we think 'if there really was a God...he wouldn't let me hurt like this'.. 
I have to say that I have had those moments... but this isn't one of them. Over the past few years I have seen God's hand on my life. We've experienced tough times in life... tough times in ministry... but God has consistently shown himself faithful to us. 

And so here we are... our son, only 10 days old... diagnosed with an incredibly rare form of cancer, has shown us once more that even when life seems to have turned upside-down, God is in control. 

Men go abroad to wonder at the height of mountains,
at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars;
and they pass by themselves with out wondering.
~ Saint Augustine

I've had to redo this note a few times... simply because I am so amazed by the grace of God. So many of you have written me... some of you would call Jesus your Lord and Savior... some of you aren't too sure what you think of "religion" at this point... sometimes I can't blame you when you have crazy people in the world trying to predict the rapture... (This Saturday is the new one.)

My boy is a miracle... 
everything about him is a miracle. 
I believe he was born 2 weeks early because God wanted to save his life...
- because God wanted doctors to find this 'rare form of cancer'
- because God wanted to show that he fashioned him together ... and is going to heal him... and is going to show the world that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Tomorrow I have to go in early. A genetics oncologist wants to take my blood to see if there is anything in my DNA that could trace this disease. Tonight as I think about this all I can think of is DNA... 
- see doctors want to see if there is inconsistence in my DNA... 
- they want to see if something has come apart that has made room for this disease. 

Louie Giglio puts it this way... 
So you're at the toughest place in your life... how can you know that God is going to hold you together and bring you through... you know because there is a cross standing over history... it is the place where the 'Star breather' became the 'Sin Bearer'.
- Where the Universe Maker, became Mankinds' Savior... and it is proof that God does not always change the circumstances... he did not change them for Jesus on that hillside, but it is also proof that God always has a purpose in the circumstances and that his purpose and his plan will prevail and will triumph through any circumstances in this world... 

There is prayer happening all over the world for Bronson... the doctors have seen that there is no increase in liver size... that his swelling is coming down... And though there are days we cry for him and hold on to each other, we know that God's purpose is to see him live... and that your life would be touched because of how his little life affected you... 

Written across our DNA is the signature of a loving, healing God... 
When you have time to sit... please watch this video. it will change your life. 

May 16th & 17th

May 16: 533pm...
Well it has been a long day. Seems as though it's a flu bug we have been hit with... today it was nice to know that my dad was up there with Bronson... he got there around 12 and is still there now. He seems to be doing well and responded well when they tried to move him around. I still can't believe that we have a 7 day old baby that is going through chemo treatment. 
When we got home this morning it was tough to see his crib and room, knowing that we couldn't bring him home to let him rest. 
This is certainly a test of our faith, and endurance. but so many people are lifting him up in prayer... Australia, Nigeria, the UK, South Carolina, Dakota, British Columbia, Indonesia, Dubai, Cambodia.. the list goes on... We are so humbled to have so many lifting him up in prayer. 
Tomorrow morning I am hoping to get back to work for the morning, and then spend the evening with our little guy... God is going to do great things through this wee man.

May 17: 542pm

It's hard to believe that our little boy is 8 days old... 8 days old and already has had 3 chemo treatments... 8 days old and already has thousands of people praying for him around the world... what a blessing. The next few days will be crucial. We are going to find out if his liver size has decreased or not... Please pray that it decreases and that it's function begins to increase. 
I can't get over how strong of a fighter he is... when trying to do procedures on him, he decided to wake up and try to tear out everything plugged into him... (this is after he was given a paraletic). He's a tough little guy...  I find myself thinking "what if" at times... But 'what if' never happened for me... and 'what if' will not happen for him... this is not our inheritance... we were meant to live for more than this... Please keep praying.

Hope for the little guy
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
      so why should I be afraid?
   The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
      so why should I tremble?
 2 When evil people come to devour me,
      when my enemies and foes attack me,
      they will stumble and fall.
 3 Though a mighty army surrounds me,
      my heart will not be afraid.
   Even if I am attacked,
      I will remain confident.

 4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—
      the thing I seek most—
   is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
      delighting in the Lord’s perfections
      and meditating in his Temple.
 5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
      he will hide me in his sanctuary.
      He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
 6 Then I will hold my head high
      above my enemies who surround me.
   At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
      singing and praising the Lord with music.

 7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
      Be merciful and answer me!
 8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
      And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
 9 Do not turn your back on me.
      Do not reject your servant in anger.
      You have always been my helper.
   Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
      O God of my salvation!
 10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
      the Lord will hold me close.

 11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
      Lead me along the right path,
      for my enemies are waiting for me.
 12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
      For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
      with every breath they threaten me with violence.
 13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
      while I am here in the land of the living.

 14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
      Be brave and courageous.
      Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

David faced some incredible trials throughout his life time. Just a little guy, yet he was able to overcome so much... tonight my prayer for Bronson is that he would live out all the days of his life knowing that people around the world held him up in prayer. I don't know if we will ever really know how many people have been praying for him, but I do know that beyond all odds he will be a survivor - he too will wear a LIVESTRONG bracelet, and as we wait patiently, we will see the Lord's goodness while we are here in the land of the living. 

May 14th - Preach to me

May 14th - 2:24pm Preach to me.
Four years ago I lay in a bed at Princess Margaret Hospital. It had been such a whirlwind of information, appointments and meetings that before I knew it I was watching the nurse hook up the I.V. with the chemo now running in my system. It seemed surreal and hard to take in. “Was this really happening now?” “Was this really happening to Angela and I?” “How was she going to hold up?”....

Laying in that bed I had time to review my life... And I don’t know how to describe it... but a holy anger came over me... I knew God had called me to reach others for the sake of the Kingdom of God - I knew that I hadn’t even began to scratch the surface of what He had planned for me - and yet here I lay... put on a ‘time-out’.
I never gave up...simply because I knew that the testimony God was building up in me had not come to completion - and I’m not done now either...

Our little boy is battling for his life.
Yet he has no idea how many hundreds, if not thousands of people are lifting him up in prayer around the world.
He has no idea how many people his story is touching.
He has no idea that in the spiritual realm there is a battle taking place between Heaven and hell. And how the prayers and inspiration given by his little life are empowering the angels of heaven to fight even harder on the frontlines for lives around the world that, until now, may have never really known the love and grace that Christ can offer to this world.

We are not in an easy place today - but we are not alone - we have incredible doctors watching over Bronson - but most of all have the Great Physician protecting his little life. It’s very easy to question and ask where God is through all of this turmoil - and whether we would be in the desert or on the mountain top, we are blessed to have the life we have and for that I thank my Lord, Jesus.

We have accepted that his life is what it is because people need to know that God doesn’t respond to religious ritual - He doesn’t respond to money being thrown at a cause - He responds to the simple faith of a child - and today that preaches to me.

We got a note from a very good friend who read Psalm 107 and passed it along to us... I’d encourage you to do the same...

Right now I feel so full of grace and faith... I’m listening to an amazing song from an old friend, Phil Aud called ‘Preach to Me’. You can find this song on iTunes and I’d highly suggest to spend the 0.99 cents... it will change your life.

God is teaching us so much with each hour that passes by... now if you will excuse me... I need to go play some music next to my little boy.

10:17pm - Preach to me

Tomorrow my brother is talking about claiming our inheritance... So many people miss out on their God-given inheritance... consider this for a moment...

Song and lyrics by Phil Aud (buy the song... very good... get it on iTunes - Phil Aud, Preach to Me)

He was 23 she was 21
Left the job for a parsonage with a 13 month old son
So he could preach and say
God took my sins away
and he could do the same today...for all who would believe

Their hearts were full of faith, their pockets full of change
Their home was full of joy with a baby on the way
Their church half full of saints, who love to sing and pray
And how he loved to hear them preach to me.

The children soon grew up and they went to Sunday school
And they learned how to play and they learned the Golden Rule
They made their parents proud, when they would sing aloud
Songs about the love of God, and how they loved Him too

Oh, he lived for the moments like these
Oh, but nothing compared to the morning his son said to him
“Dad today you preached to me”

Now 18 years had past as his heaven he would boast
Until the morning that his wife was diagnosed
Six months so the doctor’s said
Four months later she was dead
The question wouldn’t leave his head...
....“Where are you God?”

Things went from bad to worse on a Sunday afternoon
He saw it in his son when he walked into the room
Dad for years I’ve heard ya say, trust in God, it’ll be okay
I know he took he took your sins away...but he took away my mom

Four bedroom house and all alone
His daughter calls him on the phone
“How’s it goin’?”
“I dunno”
Is all that he could say

He tries to pray, he tries to cry
But there’s no tears left in his eyes
His faith is feeling just as dry but the same as yesterday
Church attendance stays the same, he thinks about it ev’ry day
He feels just like a cast away, staring at the sea
One prayer left and so he prays, “You know this is my darkest days, so send somebody down my way cause I need preach to me...”

At first that Sunday seemed just like the one before
Until the moment that his son walked through the door
the final prayer the final hymn the people left the lights were dimmed
and then his son walks up to him

Things haven’t been the same since the day mom passed away
I found it hard to trust and I found it hard to pray
But dad don’t give up on me, or God of faith or destiny
Or dreams you had at 23 Cause you still preach to me

Oh, the tears run both of his cheeks
Oh, he searched for the right words, smiled and started to speak...
“son today you preached to me”

I'm so tired tonight... we are glad we have a home with love and laughter to come to here in Brooklin (north whitby). Today I sat beside my son playing the best worship songs I could find... Darlene Zchech, Phil Wickham, David Crowder Band, Chris Tomlin, and of course... Phil Aud.

I wanted him to hear words that offer life all around him...
But what I found today was that this little guy was speaking to me and so many other people... It's no surprise to me that God uses the weakest among us to accomplish the work of His Kingdom...
- he used a stutterbug like Moses to lead the people of Israel out of slavery...
- he used a guy like David...smallest of his tribe to become the greatest King of Israel...
- he used a young woman, Mary to protect the Christ that would save the world...
- he used a religious leader who wanted nothing more than to wipe the earth free of 'Christians' to write much of the New Testament...
- And now he uses our baby boy Bronson to change the world in 2011. So today many people around the world are reading about the strength of this little boy. They see that his mom and dad won't give up, knowing the odds because of the faith they have in a living Christ.

I'm so thankful for the letters I've received and to hear how this story has moved you... but it's no surprise to me that you are moved... it's built in us to be moved by the love and the grace of God... We were made to walk in the love and grace God created for us... sometimes we need to be reminded of that.
Angela and I are blessed to know the love of God in our lives... Some of us have had it tough and feel that there isn't much love left to receive from God...
...But I think of Job...
A guy that had it all... only to see it all taken away... and he never gave up... he continued to trust in God, trust that God only had good things for him, that he would prosper him (Jer. 29.11)... And so God was faithful to that promise... and we see Job restored and then some.

I'm so glad to see how many people have been moved by our story... but you were made that way... you were made to respond to the love of God... I hope you give Him a chance...
I couldn't imagine going through this without faith beyond the grave... some see Christ as a good teacher... some see him as a prophet... but I like C.S Lewis' thoughts on that...

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say.
A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronising nonsense about his being a great human teacher.
He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. ... Now it seems to me obvious that He was neither a lunatic nor a fiend: and consequently, however strange or terrifying or unlikely it may seem, I have to accept the view that He was and is God."

So much can happen in this life time... if we don't have hope beyond the grave then what do we have?
Christ made good on this promise when he rose from the dead on the 3rd day... And it's our faith in a man, no a a God who makes good on His word... And his word to me is that he will give me and my family long life and show us his salvation... THIS is our inheritance... and I'm claiming it in Jesus name...
I hope you don't take this as me preaching... it's just a way for me to get my thoughts on paper. thanks for reading... it's 10:40... time for bed...

May 13th feels like the calm before the storm

Friday, may 13. 820am
His procedure has been moved to 11. He had a pretty good night but his u2 went down a bit so they gave him some low flow oxygen. Seems to be doing fine though.

Calm before the storm...

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

We don't know what to expect today. Part of me can't help but be fearful of what we might hear... Part of me is just anxious to get this over with and part of me knows that God is in control of this situation and it is helping us rest "easy" at the moment.

Zeph. 3.17
17 For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Ang and I had a chance just to relax with each other... break things down and pray together, believing that God will heal our little boy and soon she will be able to place him in his crib to rest easy. We know that any thing can happen; we also know that our help comes from the LORD the Maker of Heaven and Earth. So I think we are in good hands.

A thought to leave you with till later this afternoon. A friend of ours prayed with her boys last night (just little guys)... "Dear God, please touch Bronson's body and make him be normal and healthy. Keep him safe and protected. Be with his mommy and daddy. Help him to grow up strong and be a very handsome man.....even more handsome than me.....amen."
haha. I'll take it!

So they took Bronson down already. We didn't get to see him buy were happy to hear that he was quite the fighter and didn't want to let them do their job! :) So now it's a waiting game. Thanks to those who offered to come sit with us but it's nice to have a bit of a breather. We will update soon.

230pm A page for Bronson
We are still waiting for him to return. In the mean time I have made him a page on fb. Ang and I would love you to take a look and 'like' it so we have an idea of how many people are watching over him. Click here

We are still waiting to see Bronson. All this time and I just found a computer right across from the waiting room! :/
We are believing and praying for good things!

4% of battery power left. We are waiting to get back in to see him. He is stable but needs to start chemo tonight. We have a heavy heart but are believing God will bring us through this as a whole family.

9:07pm 'I used to like my steak rare... now I will go with well done'
Well we are back at my brother and sis-in-law's place for the night. I think we've had as much as we can handle tonight - it was a lot to take in.
I guess we were expecting this news but when it's finally said, it's a lot different to handle. So here's where everything is at tonight...
We are told that he has 'bi-lateral neuroblastoma'. Apparently this is an extremely rare condition... rare... something that our family has been heard a lot of over the past few years...

Angela's mom past away from a rare cancer... four years ago I was diagnosed with a rare cancer... and here we are again. Even though my faith is still strong, my heart is weak. I would give anything to take his place. It was so much for Ang and I to take in when I was diagnosed... and now we have a little boy, four days old, with no idea what is happening, is going through the same thing... It's been quite hard to process.

While we were finding out details today his liver seemed to increase in size which stopped him from breathing on his own... we just got an update that he is now on room air but still needs help breathing...
The cancer is in both adrenal glands - which means the only option is to treat with chemo.

The biopsy came back negative but they felt they had a poor sample... they wanted to get a new sample from the liver but now with his condition they want to go ahead and start with chemo. They said for this to be in both glands and in the liver and not be cancer, it would be the first recorded case ever... I'm sick of rare.

I still feel that God is taking care of us. The head oncologist is THEE best in Canada, if not in the world. Here's a link to give you an idea of what he's done...
Sylvain Baruchel

I feel tonight that I am at my weakest. We went in at 7pm to say goodnight to him, and to see him in the state he was in was heartbreaking. But we still know God is in control and we are faithful that Bronson is going to get through this. I have seen God's grace time and time again in our life... We know that he will live as a testament to that same grace.