Monday, 22 August 2011

Hard to believe...

A lot can happen in 3.5 months. It's hard to believe that I am sitting in Bronson's hospital room with his car seat in hand, ready to be filled. 
In 3.5 months we have had some of the most emotional times of our lives. As I walked from our vehicle to the elevator I looked to my left, seeing shadows of sad nights where Angela an I sat in our van, crying for Bronson, wondering if we would see him the next day. 
In the last 3.5 months we said goodbye to our dear friend Penny who lost her battle to cancer, leaving behind her husband and family to meet her on the other side. 
And today we say goodbye to Jack Layton who has passed from his battle with cancer-what a journey for so many. 
And so today with reminders of tears shed in the past, we thank God for the blessings He has poured out on us. We are thankful that our family will finally be whole. 
As I look at Bronson laying on his bed, I see his bravery beads above him. Each bead a reminder of what we have all been through/each bead representing thousands of people who have walked this journey with us, supporting us along the way. 
I wrote this out before and I feel I need to do it again...
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.

Bronson is coming home. We will continue to update on his life if you would like to continue to see his progress. We thank you for your support. Time to hold my son for a while...

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Just out of reach...

Well it's certainly been a while since I've been able to sit down and write on this blog. Life has been so crazy for the past while... Angela is down at SickKids staying with Bronson... I'm here in Brooklin with Kallie while trying to take care of work.  It's honestly not that bad... What's tough are the nights... it just seems so quite. Without Angela and Bronson here, things don't seem to be complete.

Through everything though it has been incredible to see how far we've come... Angela told me yesterday that the head oncologist came by to say how happy he was with Bronson's progress. We also learned how lucky we are to have things work out the way they did. He was talking with a doctor down in California who couldn't believe that Bronson recovered considering the extent of damage from the neuroblastoma and chemo damage to the liver.  He said that Bronson wouldn't have qualified for a transplant by their standards because they would have thought him 'too far gone'.
Our oncologist said that he was pleased to say that it can be done and Bronson is the example! What a story to tell Bronson some day! At this point though it would just be nice to have him home... It WAS supposed to be last Friday... now it looks like it's going to be this coming Tuesday or Wednesday... Seems so close but so far away... A few more days... what a journey. 

Monday, 8 August 2011

Counting the minutes

Well I haven't blogged for a while and thought I should tonight. We are really in the home stretch with's hard to believe. I would say for sure that he will be home by the end of next the latest! - At least that's what the doctors are hoping for - we know things can change and so I am not trying to get too excited.

What a journey it has been - and everything seems so crazy right now... Kallie is being watched by friends and family throughout the day, Angela is down with Bronson, staying there each night and I am here taking care of work and trying to make it down when I can - a break would be nice - we will get there soon enough.

Our only concern at this point is that Bronson keeps having some mild seizures... we don't know what's causing it... I am really hoping that these things clear up and that he can began to have a 'normal' life... whatever that is. He turns 3 months tomorrow... hard to believe. So much has happened.

Thanks again for all your prayers... even though we (or should I say 'I') don't update a lot with the busy-ness of it all, we really do appreciate your prayers... they are getting us through this. It will be good to be a whole family again!

Friday, 22 July 2011

A new life...

It's easy sometimes to question why things question if God is involved or if He just stands by and watches while we suffer. It can be hard to trust God, especially when things are tough... 
From the beginning I have believed and prayed psalm 91 over Bronson's life - that because we love God, he would bring us through this and show Bronson his salvation. So here we are. 

Long before Angela and I met, Angela had a baby sister, born 21 years ago - a girl that speaks very loudly and can say some of the craziest things-but more importantly a girl who loves unconditionally and selflessly. 

We can question at times our purpose in this life... Jeremiah 29.11 says 'I know the plans God has for you...plans to prosper you-not to harm you ... Plans to give you a bright hope and future'. 

21 years ago Sarahbeth came into this world-not knowing she would live to save another. Not knowing that God made her so perfect for a surgery that would save our boy. 

We were told today that Sarah's liver was not shaped normally. Instead of being a bit thicker it seemed to be long and skinnier- making her the perfect donor for Bronson. Sometimes a donors liver can be too big making recovery time a bit more complicated. For example, a liver too big can mean they have to remove the spleen, making it necessary for Bronson to be on a drug for the rest of his life. Sometimes a liver is too big that they would have to leave him open for a few days-which can lead to other complications. But 21 years ago God made SB with a 'clinically perfect' liver to be able to donate to our son. - 21 years ago SB became a hero long before she knew it. 

Sarahbeth is resting. Feeling sick but fighting through. Our son is resting. With a healthy liver that is doing its job and is all closed up. Yes we still have a long road ahead of us. But because of our hero, this road is now a bit easier to travel. 
Sarahbeth you are a God-send and Bronson's personal angel. Thanks for being there for us! 

Monday, 18 July 2011

Big Changes...

It's hard to believe that our son is over 2 months old now. In 2 months time he has battled cancer, been on life support, battled infection, and now battles while waiting for a liver transplant - time has past by far too fast. 
This has been such a busy time for us... this past week for example we had our church sports camp, prepped jobs for our cabinet business and laid to rest our precious Pennie, who is now experiencing Heaven in ways we only dream about - not to mention trying to make it down to see our son! 
It's so hard to know what to feel/think at this point... Angela has been so good through all this... she has made it down almost every day to spend time with him... In the past two weeks I've only been down once. My connection lately has been the pictures Ang sends me via iPhone.  Days go by and life goes on, but here we are feeling like something is missing... - something IS missing... no matter the work I do and fun we have, life feels empty without our boy. 

But it feels like we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sarahbeth... Angela's sister is a 'perfect match' as a donor for Bronson - the workers at the hospital was telling us that they've never seen such perfect anatomy... There is a huge process to make sure things work out for a liver transplant... not only do you have to be healthy, but internally, your veins and lines have to line up properly to ensure the surgery can be successful - and again...she's a perfect match. An answer to prayer? I'd like to think so. 

So here we are... this week brings huge changes for us... Changes that I am not sure I know how to prepare for... I am so excited for him to have this surgery but scared with the chance that there could be complications. I'm nervous because I don't know how many more nights I can go home and look in his room only to feel the emptiness it holds so deeply. Whatever this week brings... we face it with our family, friends and the community of people that have held us up through all of this. 

If you haven't had a chance yet I'd encourage you to take a look at Ang's blog. Sarahbeth is making a huge sacrifice doing this for us. She will be able to register for E.I. but still has bills that won't be covered... we want to make her recovery as easy as possible - she could potentially be off of work for 3 months. 
Angela's blog has an option set up to give online to PayPal. 
....Even after having cancer myself...I've never known the struggle of trying to continue on with life and trying to pay the bills... yet this time around things are very different... 
We have been blessed to have people help us... We would love to help pay that forward with Sarahbeth. If you can join us in this journey, it would be an incredible weight lifted off of her shoulders.  

To lay down your agenda... your goals and current plans to save a life is such an incredible, selfless act of compassion. We are so blessed to have Sarahbeth come along side of us in this journey. Again we thank you for your prayers in this battle, but also humbly ask that if you can help lighten the load from S.B's shoulders, it would be an incredible help...  ( you can do so through a PayPal account and use the email address
Thank you again for following our journey... though it doesn't end this week... it is definitely a turning point... please continue to pray...

Thursday, 7 July 2011

It's been a while

It's been a while since I've written a blog do I figure I should get on that. 
It's been a busy few weeks. Angela and I are on our way down now to SickKids. I really haven't had the chance to see much of him lately and am really feeling disconnected. 
Only a few hours today doesn't feel enough to make up for missed time. 

We got on the GO early this morning because Bronson gets to meet his Great Grandparents today (Kessler)-so that's exciting for him. 
It's hard to believe that we are creeping up onto months! Ang and I just want him home. 
We have a few family members that could possibly be a match for a liver donor, so we are looking through those possibilities over the next few days. The doctors told us that even with good candidates, only 1/8 end up being a match-we are praying we get the match on the first try-more than that we are praying still that he won't need a transplant and that his liver is going to start working by the grace of God. 

Life feels like a blur right now. Between working, taking care of things at home, and making it to SickKids, it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day. We are praying for continual strength but we would really like to see some progress here. 
God is in control... And that's what we need to hold on to at the moment. For now I'll look fw to holding him for a while! 

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Playing The Waiting Game

Not quite sure where to start today. We found out yesterday that Bronson has been placed on a waiting list for a liver transplant... Today we found out that he is blood type O... which means that he is a universal donor...but means he can only receive O type livers... :/

The waiting list is as long as 2 years for a liver like this.  
What a thing to think about... that the best liver we could obtain for Bronson is one from a baby who has passed away. It's a lot to soak in...
Then we've found out that we can get one from an adult, but there are very tight regulations on donors...i.e. healthy, fit, free from disease, etc. In the first few questions of the form, because of my cancer history it takes me off the list.
It's hard to know what to write...or what to think tonight... This process changes his life. For his lifetime he will have to take medication... he will have to worry a lot more about things like chicken pox... things that I was hoping would never happen to him... I don't know what to think...

This doesn't change things for me... until he is on that table getting the transplant I will be praying for his healing...

I asked that as he waited, if his liver started to fail, are there any options of treatment to prolong his life? The answer was no... The liver has to work in order to live...

This next part is not something I am comfortable with writing... but from the messages I have received I think it's necessary. We have already received about six offers from people willing to give up part of their liver. What a humbling situation to be in...
We were told today that Canada is one of the worst countries for donors... Not enough people think about it.   But today has changed that a bit...

Again this is not something I could ask of someone... Major surgery is involved for anyone considering. 3 months of healing would then follow... but this is for those that have volunteered - and there are very specific guidelines to be approved. If you would like to talk to me further please email me @ .

This is a hard place to be in... but to know that people are wanting to step up to this for us... there are no
words to describe my gratitude...

Ang and I are very tired...and getting a bit we are taking tomorrow off...Please continue to pray with us that we will see God's grace in this situation!